How To Find A True Love-Soul Mate-Life Partner

You know when you get to that certain age when it is no longer about conquests, and are finally ready to settle down. Now You want to find out how to find a true love to spend and share the rest of your life with because you're sick of all the games.

You're searching for that one person who doesn't play games that you can trust and who trusts you in return. Someone who shares similar views about life, spiritual beliefs, common interests, goals, and dreams such as yourself.

We all need to remember none of us are perfect and we all have our faults and with this, in mind, all of us have to determine what is the most important elements to us in a relationship. In other words, what can we live with and what can we live without?

How To Find A True Love


How To Find A True Love In Search Of Your Soul Mate

If you have been out in the dating world and have had several partners over the years, and none of them have worked out. You should by now then have a pretty good understanding of what you don't want in a relationship.

So now is the time to reflect upon yourself and figure out what it is you do want in a relationship because only then will you know what it is you are looking for in a life partner.

Here is what I want you to do. Sit down somewhere by yourself without any distractions with pen and paper in hand and write down two lists. The first list should be titled. What I don't want in a relationship and the second one should be titled What I want in a relationship or life partner.

Now reflect upon all of your past relationship experiences that didn't work and make out your first list.              

                                            Questions To Ask A Date


What I Don't Want In A Relationship! (Red Flags)

  • I don't want someone who doesn't trust me.
  • I don't want someone who lies.
  • I don't want someone who cheats.
  • I don't want someone who has been married 4 or 5 times.
  • I don't want someone with children.
  • I don't want someone who doesn't have children.
  • I don't want someone who smokes.
  • I don't want someone who drinks.
  • I don't want someone who is controlling.
  • I don't want someone who is possessive.
  • I don't want someone who is overly jealous.
  • Etc.

Now think about what it is you do want and make out your list of things you are looking for in a life partner.


What I Do Want In A Relationship!

  • I want someone whom I can discuss a problem with instead of fighting about it.
  • I want someone who is honest.
  • I want someone who is caring.
  • I want someone who doesn't cheat.
  • I want someone who trusts me and that I trust.
  • I want someone who has similar goals and dreams.
  • I want someone who shares similar spiritual beliefs.
  • I want someone who isn't controlling.
  • I want someone who isn't possessive or overly jealous.
  • I want someone who wants children.
  • I want someone who doesn't want children.
  • I want someone who is in good health.
  • I want someone who is good with finances.
  • Etc.

Now that you have your lists complete about what you do and don't want and you have figured out what is most important to you in a relationship. You are probably asking what's next? You need to prioritize your list from the most to least important.

Making Priority List

Then figure out which ones you are willing to compromise on out of the one's you deem as less important. I hate to think of dating in terms of a job interview but in a sense that is kind of what it is regarding finding your true love.

I want you to take both of your lists and form a series of questions out of them in regards to what is most important to you and commit them to your memory. Then while out on a date you will ask your questions.

I am not talking about grilling your date either but ask your questions during a normal conversation and make a mental note about the red flags.


Red Flag Relationship Warning Signs

I would assume everyone is familiar with the term red flags, but if you are reading this post and are in a younger generation or foreign country and have never heard of this term. It means the answers to the questions you are asking your date doesn't match up with what you deem as important to you in finding your true love.

Red Flag Relationship Warning Signs

Best Questions To Ask On The First Date

  • Question: Have you ever been married?
  • Answer: I've been married four times. (red flag) 

This example shows a person who is not sure of what they are looking for in a relationship.

  • Question: Do you have any children?
  • Answer: I have three kids.
  • Question: Are they all by the same father/mother?
  • Answer: No they all have different fathers/mothers. (red flag)

This example shows a person also whom either doesn't know what they won't, or they can not distinguish the difference between lust and love. It also shows they aren't very responsible either.

  • Question: What kind of work do you do and how long have you been doing this kind of work?
  • Answer: I just started working at this new job doing such and such, but I have only been there for a month now. But before this job I worked this other job for about three months but I had to quit because of such and such reason. Before that, I worked at the such, and such factory for about six months. (red flag)

This example shows a person who is not very financially stable and always seems to have an excuse as to why they either got fired or had to quit their job.

Watch And Listen For The Red Flags

So, if you want to find a partner or mate who is financially stable, it shouldn't be with someone who has had three or four different jobs in a years time. It should be with someone who has had the same job for at least three to ten years.

Even this does not always mean they are financially stable depending on their spending habits. They may not be great at managing their money, but at least they have a much better work record and can hold down a job.

If you made mental notes about the red flags during your date and if there were several that went against what you deem as important in a relationship you need to forget about this person as a potential life partner and move on to the next one. There is no point in wasting your time or theirs.

Just thank this person for the date and let them know you had a good time. But also let them know that you see them more as a potential friend and someone to hang out with sometimes. Because who knows they may be thinking the same thing about you.


What Is The Difference In Lust And Love

The major difference between lust and love is that with love we do not ignore the red flags and we find someone who fits with our list of things we deem as important in a relationship or life partner. Where as with lust it is more of a physical attraction and we tend to ignore all of the red flags we are receiving.

Now we have all dated these kinds of people, and it never seems to work out. Maybe we are physically attracted to them, and all of us appear to think that we can help this person to change into that special someone we have been searching for our whole life.

So we spend anywhere between one to three years with this person and nothing changes; until we have finally had enough and end the relationship. Next thing you know we are back into the dating game all over again. Except for this time we are now two or three years older.

If we continue with this same manner of dating over and over again, we start to get older and in many cases less attractive. So then we began to start thinking about just settling for whatever to keep from being alone for the rest of our lives.

But if it ever gets to this point you might as well live alone because you will never be truly happy with someone if you abandon the things that are important to you in a relationship. You will end up just as miserable if not more so.


Recap – How To Find My True Love

  • If you want to know how to find a true love you need to implement this plan which I put before you. Figure out what is important to you by figuring out what you want and don't want in a relationship and make out a list of these things.
  • You need to prioritize your list from most important to least. Then figure out which things on the list you are willing to compromise on out of the ones which are deemed as least important.

  • You need to form a series of questions from this list and commit them to memory to ask on a date.

  • Make mental notes of the red flags which pop-up from the answers to your questions. If there are too many red flags, you need to move on instead of trying to change someone because you feel a physical attraction towards them.

  • Do not forgo what is most important to you in a relationship just to keep from being alone.

I hope that you enjoyed reading this post and my wish is that it helps you in finding your one true love in life. Or at the very least gives you some ideas as to the questions you need to ask while on a date. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to share them below.

Or if you know of any people in your social media networks who could use this information you are welcome to share this post with them. We have all been in these kinds of relationships before and if not we know plenty of friends and family who have.


Sincerely Dale (Life Coach)

8 thoughts on “How To Find A True Love-Soul Mate-Life Partner”

  1. These are all great tips on how to find a life partner. I do agree on these things! I made a list six months ago that I wanted to find in a person. I'll be honest that I still feel attracted to people with the mentioned red flags. For that reason I stopped dating. In a way I felt sympathy for the walk they were in. Out of curiosity do you have any tips to get over this?

    1. Hi Jose, Thank you for the comments. You say that you stopped dating because you are attracted to people who have these mentioned red flags. Well, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with taking a break from dating every once in a while because it helps you to learn and discover more about yourself.

      I think you’re drawn to these types of people for the reason you stated about feeling sympathetic towards their walk in life. I learned a long time ago we are the ones who created our path in life by the decisions we made along the way.

      I also learned that it is alright to feel sympathy towards these people and want to help them out. But ultimately you, yourself, cannot change their life they have to do that for themselves. If you want things in your life to change, then you have to change things in your life.

      You cannot keep doing the same old things and expect a different outcome because you are always going to get the same outcome as long as you are doing the same old things.

      Warmest Wishes!

  2. I have a few friends who are in their forties, and they are all divorced. It might be because of small arguments here or there, but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that they didn’t choose their true love. People need a lot of experience, to truly know, what exactly they want.

    It’s vital like you said to not stick to someone who has too many qualities that you don’t want. You want to live your life with someone comfortably and not give yourself a headache.

    That’s the different between lust and love. Lust is something our body wants, but love is what our whole life wants. Thanks for the information.

    1. Hi Blame, I agree with you because I have a lot of friends also who have been married, several times each. And each time they re-married it’s as if they married the same person over and over again with just a different face. These are the types of people who just can not stand to be alone.

      If you don’t even take the time to get to know who you are as a person and what you’re all about; How in the blazes, do you know what you are looking for in someone else?

      Thanks for stopping by Blame and please visit again.

      Sincerely Dale

  3. True love, everyone wants to find it. 🙂 Your list is really helpful of what are the qualities we want and do not want. The red flag questions are spot on as well – but I do think we should give someone the benefit of doubt in the beginning. Perhaps to take the relationship more slowly so that each of us has the chance to get to know each other better? Thank you for this wonderful article!

    1. Hi Lily Wong, yes indeed we all want to find our one true love the person who is not only a best friend, lover, life companion, a partner but the lite of our life.

      Lily, I do believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. But if there are too many red flags, in the beginning, I might look at this person as a potential friend but not as a life partner or soulmate.

      It is about learning to trust our instincts. How many times have you given someone the benefit of the doubt ignoring your intuitions about this person just to find out your instincts were right in the first place.

      I believe in taking a relationship slowly to get to know each other better because everyone tends to put up a false front at the beginning of a new relationship. Especially if it is with someone, we are physically attracted too.

      I find that most people can only keep up this false front for about three to six months before their true nature starts to come to the surface. So, until we get ourselves past the lustful stage of the relationship only then do we start to see the person for who they are.

      Thanks for stopping by Lily

      Sincerely Dale

  4. Hey there,

    This is such an interesting topic, I love how you really picked a delicate subject like love and still came up with logical explanations. The points you mentioned are so basic but I can see how some of us would fall into this jargon or wishful thinking about how those red flags are not so red after all.

    Great post and I know this can be helpful to so many!


    1. Hey Anh,
      First, off I want to thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. Yes, Anh even though most of the points I made about finding true love are all basic common sense. I work with a lot of people in my practice, and I see it all the time that common sense is not that common.

      People always seem to be looking for an illogical explanation for their problems; when most times the simplest solutions are right in front of their face. But they just can’t seem to see it for some reason. Or they don’t want too.

      How many times have you seen some of your friends or family members, with a person whom you know is not right for them? You see the red flags but the person involved seems to have their eyes hazed over by lust or wishful thinking.

      Most times when we are physically attracted to someone, we tend to lose focus as well as common sense and logic get’s thrown out the window.

      Sincerely Dale

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