Have you ever felt like you were all Alone? That nobody else in the World understands or even cares about you? Are you the kind of person who hates being by themselves and all Alone? Do you think you have to have someone in your life to be happy? If so; I’ve got some news for you; we all hate being alone to some degree or another whether you’re a man or woman.
“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” By Mandy Hale
But; here is another piece of news for you. There are worse things in life than being Alone. How so, might you ask? The answer is; if you are in a Toxic Relationship. If you’re, being Verbally, Mentally, or Physically Abused; or any of the words in the list below then this is a Toxic Relationship!
“It is far better to be alone than to be in bad company.” By George Washington
Here are a few books I would recommend reading.
There is no amount of this kind of treatment or suffering better than being Alone. I have often wondered why women who are being beaten and abused stay with this type of man. I know everyone puts up a false front at the beginning of any new relationship. I also know that men of this caliber who likes to beat on women does not start out as being abusive at the commencement of the relationship.
I think if I had been born a woman instead of a man, and I ended up in this type of relationship; where a man was beating me. I would like to think he wouldn’t do it but one time because sooner, or later the son of a bit_h would go to sleep, and I would take a baseball bat to his as_. But this is one of those cases where you don’t know unless you are standing in the other person’s shoes or this particular situation.
“… you don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.” By Jane Green
Is this kind of treatment better than being Alone? Now I am the kind of guy who is not going to stand idly by and watch another man beat a woman. And ladies most men want either but we do not understand, and we would like to.
So for all of you women who have been or is now in this type of relationship help us, men, to understand. Because I have seen women in the hospital who have been beaten so severely and when they get out, go right back to this person.
I ask myself; why would anyone ever go back to someone who is mistreating them so badly? Does this person not feel worthy of a good relationship? Is it low self-esteem? Does this person feel like they need to be punished, for some reason? Did this person have an abusive home life growing up? Or is it just Insecurities? So I am asking you ladies. What is the answer? Please leave comments!
I have heard some women say, but I love him! And they make excuses for them. (Examples) He only does it when he’s drunk, stressed out over work, having a bad day, etc. But this definitely, is not my definition of what Love is supposed to be.
I ask any ladies who is reading this post to please leave a comment. I am not trying to Embarrass, Humiliate nor disrespect you in any way. I just want to understand because I do care, and trust me; so does all the rest of men in the world.
Emotional Abuse in Marriage
Gentlemen, I didn’t forget about us. For the most part, women are the physically weaker sex, no offense to any women reading this post. This being said. I see a lot of men in relationships where they get Mentally and Verbally Abused, and this can be just as devastating almost as a physical beating.
Like I said earlier. I know everyone puts up a false front at the beginning of any new relationship. Mental and Verbal abuse doesn’t start at the commencement of the relationship. I see men at work all the time who cannot even do their jobs, without either their wife or girlfriend calling and badgering them about something every ten minutes.
These guys are so stressed out by the time they get off work they don’t even want to go home. I know men are also guilty of this too. We all need our personal space! Besides, if we are constantly on the phone with each other what is there to talk about when you get home?
When you get home from work is the time for family and discussing things that are important. Not during working hours. Going to work is our personal space away from our significant others, and it helps take our minds off of our family lives and problems for a little while.
So ladies and gentlemen if you are the kind of person who keeps calling or texting your man/woman every 10 or 15 minutes to check up on him/her; then stop. It is a sweet gesture every once in a while to let your significant other, know you miss them. But after a while, it starts becoming annoying.
Especially if the conversation isn’t necessary or something which couldn’t wait till we get home from work. The only time you should call or text during working hours is if it’s something important which cannot wait till you get home.
Just like with women, I have also wondered why men put up with Verbal and Mental Abuse. Here is a list of words used in verbal and mental abuse.
Is this kind of treatment worse than being Alone? The same questions apply to us men as I asked earlier in this post. Men this is your chance to leave a comment and explain to all the women who are reading and want to know the answers. So please leave your comments.
I have a saying that I use when I hear people say they hate being alone. It may sound harsh to some of you, but here it is anyhow.
“If you can’t stand being alone with yourself; What makes you think someone else can stand to be with you.” By Dale Odom
A lot of women I know seem to have double standards when it comes to friends of the opposite sex. It is okay for them to talk to there, male friends. But if guys talk to any female friends they have; then out come’s the jealousy. A lot of men are guilty of this as well.
When men confront their significant others about double standards; and ask why is it ok for them to talk to whomever they want to. But not us. We usually get a story about how someone cheated on them.
Well; if you have ever had more than one relationship over the years guess what? We probably all have been cheated on at some time or another and had a bad experience or two. So ladies here is some Free Relationship Advice.
Relationship Advice About Men
Ladies if you have a good man, and you want to keep him. I suggest you figure out how to overcome your Insecurities and Jealousy. Because I would say, these are the main two reasons a man will leave a woman; that, and infidelity.
When a man reaches his late twenties early thirties and beyond; at this stage of a man’s Life, he is starting to look for the right woman and settle down. But he is not going to deal with the issues mentioned above even if he loves and wants to be with you.
If you are a person who is so Jealous that your partner can not even speak to someone of the opposite sex; then you have a serious problem. This type of relationship will never work because it screams that you don’t Trust your partner. Without Trust, you don’t have a sustainable Relationship. This applies to both Men and Women.
I have some female friends, and they call me and ask my advice about their partners. They are looking for a male’s perspective about something either their husband or boyfriend said or did. I do the same thing. Sometimes I just need another females perspective about a particular situation; I am unsure of how to handle.
I apologize men. I cannot give you any Relationship Advise about Women. I am nearly 52 years young, and I still haven’t figured them out. (LOL)
Healthy Relationship Advice
In my opinion, I do know what the Keys to a Healthy Relationship are. Or at least I know what I look for in a Relationship. In a Healthy Relationship, both parties should be able to have opposite-sex friends without Jealousy being a problem.
I have always had a rule I live by; which is any friends I have will remain, my friends. Unfortunately, Relationships come and go, but Real Friends are just as hard to find as True Love is.
If I meet the person I want to be with I want to introduce them to my opposite sex friends in hopes, they will get along and become friends as well. I also want to try and ease their mind and let them know they don’t have any reason to be Jealous.
Here is a list of characteristics I think a Healthy Relationship needs to be successful. I am sure I could think of a few more, but these are the most important in my opinion.
- Love of course
- Must-Have Trust
- Honesty is also a Must Have
- Need to be able to Communicate
- Both Parties need to be willing to Compromise
- Support each other
- Have Compassion for one another
- Mutual Respect
- Time Apart or Personal Space
Leave Insecurities, and Jealousy in the past where they belong. Also, let Ex’s stay in the past where they belong. (Unless you share Children together.)
“ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!” If you take the necessary time Alone and get to know yourself and figure out what will make you happy, then you will never be Alone. If you become a happy person, everyone wants to be around you.
If you enjoyed this post, or even if you didn’t; please leave a comment good or bad, I would enjoy reading them; or if you have a question or a topic that you would like to discuss. I would enjoy that as well.
If you know people who could benefit from this message, please be sure to tell them about my website. Or post it to Social Media.
Sincerely Dale (Life Coach)